Au-pair diary: 06. I live like a royalty… not everyone was so fortunate.

The second week of my stay wasn’t as dramatic as I thought it’s going to be. Well mostly because the free time activities for the kids didn’t start yet, so I was not at full speed. And besides cooking, the only interesting thing that could happen that week was the start of my french lessons. Which was a thing I was looking forward to… meeting new people and finally learning my dream language. But what I found there was more than enough to realize, how fortunate I was, with my host family. 

But let me start from the beginning. I had a french classes before. One semester at the university, a few private classes but I never got through the beginners level. Simply because there were always more important things in my life so I always had to stop, just to start from the beginning later on. So there were things I knew well and others I didn’t at all. I knew I needed to take beginners classes to go through the basics again and build my vocabulary. Because seriously? What I knew was totally not enough for communication. I was able to catch some worlds in conversation, but understanding what people are talking about was above my abilities. 

Although I thought I knew the basics like introductions, greetings and small talks well, I was surprised to find that some phrases are used for more occasions. Like “Ça va”. The basic “How are you” and also “I am fine” in one phrase. You meet a friend, you ask him “Ça va?” and he answers “Ça va.” or “Ça va bien.”. Nothing new. But, I soon figured out that this phrase is the most universal thing here and it’s used for every single thing you can imagine. So to put it simple: “Ça va?” really means “Alright?”. Someone comes and asks you: “French course Ça va?”, then you are falling from the tree he asks: “Ça va?” meaning “Are you all right?”. Or “Ça va?” for “Do you understand?”. Really, this single phrase is everywhere. And I was really looking at a few people like they were fools, because I was not expecting someone to use this phrase out of greetings. 

Another nice example is “Coucou”. When you hear this word you feel like listening to a singing bird. The first week I was genuinely confused by this. Because kids always came home with “Coucou” on their lips. The neighbour was not greeting me “Salut” or “Bonjour” but “Coucou”. I figured it’s some kind of greeting but it was really funny for me. Because it has a specific sound when wording and it really feels like a Cuckoo entered the scene. But it’s cute. But it took me a few weeks to use it right, because my vocal chords are not used to creating such a sound when greeting someone. 😀

Anyway, in Switzerland, it is obligatory for a host family to provide their Au-pairs with a language course, which is amazing. Au-pair here would never be able to pay for her course from the pocket money, so the responsibility lays on the host family. 

My host family was used to sending their au-pairs to language courses in Lausanne. But we figured out that it’s probably not gonna be an option for me. Because at the course there were signed much younger people and most of them from other parts of Switzerland, who already had French at school. So my host mum found me a semi-intensive course in language school in nearby Vevey. It is 2 times a week, 1,5 hour in the evening. So quite a lot of French. Also the course was designed for people who came to Switzerland for work, so it sounded much better to me. I was really looking forward to meeting new people. 

So Tuesday evening, I walked to Vevey and took my first lesson. We were an interesting group of people. Me, another Au-pair from Poland, a man from Cambodia and a man from Kosovo. A few more were signed up but they didn’t show up. Our teacher was a very sympathetic lady and I knew the lessons were going to be okay. Well maybe a little slower for me, but at least I had time to work on my vocabulary. 

But the strange thing that happened was related to my new friend. A young woman Au-pair I met at the course. I found out that she came two months ago, but she couldn’t start her french classes yet, because all the language schools were closed due to covid. So we started talking, comparing our au-pair life and we quickly figured out that our life conditions are not the same. I mean, I was here only for a week, so I had not much to compare, next to her and yet, it was kinda clear that I live here like a royalty. 

To understand what I am talking about, I must give the reader a bit of an insight into au-pairing rules in Switzerland. The host family is obligated to do many things for their au-pairs. The Au-pair has to have her own private room with a lock and a key, they are obligated to pay her a half of a health insurance, half of the social and accidental insurance. And they have to pay for the language course. Up to all this, they have to give their au-pair a pocket money. But to tell the truth, it is still more economical for these families than paying a professional nanny, that’s why, au-pairs are actually in a very strong position in Switzerland. 

So when talking to my new friend, during my second week, I found out that she doesn’t know about all the things the family is obligated to pay for her and she is actually paying these things from her pocket money. So in the end, she has only a little money left and traveling or saving some money is not much of an option. Also, she doesn’t have her private room. She is living in the attic, where also the workroom of the parents is. And they are going there quite often. The place has no door so she is literally listening to everything that is going on in the house and doesn’t have much privacy.  

To say that I was shocked would be underestimation of a situation. Because this young woman was in a very bad situation and her feelings got much worse when she found out that I have my own studio to live and my family is actually paying most of the things for me. So yeah… this is how I quickly realized how extremely fortunate I was with my host family. I have my own space to live, I have my whole pocket money just for myself and I feel valued and needed. While my friend feels like the family’s maid and she lives with less than basic needed money. 

You are probably asking if we started doing something about it. Well we wanted to. I discussed the situation with my host family, we were checking for options but… it is up to my au-pair friend to confront the family about the situation and get out of there so… I can’t do much but wait, what’s gonna come out of it. 

So… how to end this not very positive part of the diary…. I think Au-pairing is always a bit of a risk. You can never be sure what’s waiting for you outside. It can be amazing, but you can also end up with calculating people who won’t appreciate you. So I found I was very fortunate. I am feeling good, valued and protected here. All I need to do is not to screw up and show the family that I also value them and my position here. Because seriously? I live like a royalty!